Queen of Bliss, Joeann Fossland

Jimmy Dean said,"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow"

Mother Nature has a way of reminding us we aren't in charge, doesn't she? First Haiti and now Chile have felt her wrath with the horrendous earthquakes this year. It is a stark reminder of how impermanent our hold on reality is. Our US weather has also thrown us some curve balls this winter: Snowstorms and power outages can quickly render YOUR plans untenable-leaving you socked in, and unable to live life as usual. And, it's not just the weather. The economy and personal health issues can quickly change the best laid plans. Simply put, taking the future for granted, is risky business. 

I read an interesting article yesterday comparing the physical impact of the 2 quakes. Chile had building codes that helped decrease the devastation and had the benefit of support systems to deal with this. I don't want to minimize in any way what they are going through there or in Haiti right now, but the difference between the preparedness and ability to be prepared probably saved a lot of lives in Chile. My love and empathy are with people in both countries. I do believe, though, we can always learn from all of the challenges in life and learning from another's lesson often saves some heartache.  I know many of you are dealing with all of this in your own ways, whether it is the weather, your health or the economy.

How do you react when faced with having to go to Plan B? Do you have a Plan B?

Many people prefer not to think about or look at what could happen that could TOTALLY derail their plans. I certainly don't believe in dwelling here or awfulizing, but I do believe preparation for all eventualities is a very smart action.

 At least once a year (when you do your business planning is a good time to review your Plan B's) take a look at a few areas:

•·        What is Plan B if I got hurt of very sick this year?

•·        What is Plan B if my income doesn't come from the projected sources?

•·        What is my Plan B if my spouse or significant other dies?

•·        What is my Plan B if an act of nature devastates my home?

•·        What other areas of my life could be impacted by an unforeseen event?

At the end of this month, you should be doing your 1^st quarter review...that might be a good time to address these issues, if you don't have an answer in place!

And, then hopefully, you can have a year where the gratitude of not having to need a Plan B unfolds with all you have dreamed, and planned!

 This makes me remember....Back in the 70's when we lived the hippie life...there was a day when I was frustrated because the ants had figured a way through the gasket in the refrigerator and were into the food! It had ruined my morning, but then I had a chat with someone who had just gotten horrid health news and I realized if ants in the refrigerator were the worst problem I had...life was not too bad! Those earthquakes sure put things into perspective as well and have given me gratitude for all that I am enjoying daily!

By the way... My friend, Carra Riley's Cosmic Cowpie Book, has a wonderful chapter on Plan B. If you don't know of her, take a look at her group, Cosmic CowPie here on ActiveRain. I believe you'll find some wisdom mixed with a fun perspective!

Have a Marvelous Week! It IS up to you!!!!!

Or does the way your life looks depend on the economy? The acceptance and expectations of others? Or the needs of others? Whew....we don't live in a rarefied existence where we are oblivious to and unaffected by the rest of the world....and yet, the happiest people have learned how to accept all this AND live a life that is 100% theirs!

As I work with coaching clients, the question of "what % of their life is theirs?" is one of the questions on my initial welcome package. Rarely do I see and response of 100%. It also seems the lower the percentage, the more stress that person is feeling. I know one of the causes of stress is the feeling of helplessness about things we have no control over. We all have situations and circumstances in our lives we can't control. It's how we perceive them that causes the stress or not.

I also have found when I work with people about creating goals, there are often goals that aren't really theirs, but expectations of others-their manager, or spouse, or parents. We often are trying to live up to other's expectations of us or our own that were, perhaps, created long ago and no longer hold any juice for us. It is OK to let go of these goals and it doesn't mean you are a failure!

So, my question for you today is "How much of your life is yours?"

Ask yourself these questions:

• What goals do I have that I am not passionate about?
• Who else expects me to work on that goal?
• Why do I need to hold onto this goal?
• What's the worst that could happen if I let go of this goal?
• What daily activities do I do because someone else wants me to (and I don't)?
• What circumstances are in my life right now that keep me from doing what I want?
• What people keep sucking my time and energy so I can't do what I want?

Now, if you've been reading the last couple of weeks, you'll recognize the recent topics are closely related:

You ARE like those you hang out with...Is it time to upgrade?
And
Being The Person Who Has the most energy to give....

One blog comment when these were posted asked if that meant we shouldn't do housework, etc., if we were not passionate about it.

The real truth is that YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING! NOTHING!!!! You don't have to get out of bed, go to work, make money, do the dishes.....none of it. Everything you do is YOUR choice. Now, that doesn't mean there aren't consequences to not doing certain things, but in the end, it is ALL your choice each day. Tasks can be delegated. They can be dropped altogether. They can be changed so they are joyful.

Start by answering the questions above. Recognizing where you feel you don't have any choice is the first step to either owning that you do have a choice or coming up with a way to let go of the goal, task, responsibility. Sometimes, we just need to accept situations and quit resisting and wishing they were different. Accepting what "is" allows you to get on with it instead of being stuck and in victim mode. From there you can create an experience that is happier. I think of Viktor Frankl and this story in Man's Search For Meaning: to be in a concentration camp and still be able to call his life his own! If you have never read his book...it is an amazing true story of one man's triumph over his circumstances!

Then, after you discover where you are giving away your power...you are free to choose to continue to feel disempowered, to make a request, change or a shift or you could decide to accept that it is the way it is. If you feel stuck in moving through this, get a coach to help you see what you don't see or help you examine your choices. The cool thing is...we ALWAYS Have choices! Make some good ones!

Have a Marvelous Week! It IS up to you!!!!!

I know you know this......You have to take care of yourself FIRST!!!! ALWAYS. You can only give to others in proportion to what you have. If you are tired, scared, frantic or beat up...you don't have much to offer the people you want to serve. And, even though you know this, why do I keep talking with people who are making half as much working twice as hard and are just plain tired?.....Why is it so hard to stop and re-center, focus and begin in the beginning? And that beginning is to nurture and love you.

Yes, it may sound selfish and that's what I want you to claim in 2010-

Extreme Selfishness (as in SELF CARE)  in taking care of YOUR NEEDS.

I have enjoyed and learned from the books and recordings I have of Esther & Jerry Hicks and the teachings of Abraham-where the recent Law of Attraction work all started. I read their latest book, The Vortex: Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships, on our Hawaiian vacation. It was so calming to sit on the beach and think about where and what I was resisting in my life and see how to let go, so the resistance didn't distract me or get me stuck from getting the things I REALLY want.

Here is a quote from Abraham's Teachings, "Your greatest value to others is when you are joyful. Your greatest value to others is when you are connected. Your greatest value to others is to be radiantly healthy. Your greatest value to others is when you are happy. Your greatest value to others is to have and to be and do all the things that are very important to you. And as you are living that and vibrating that and oozing that and radiating that - then you are a catalyst that is inspiring others to an awareness of that." Abraham-Hicks

Isn't that wonderful? Can you take it in? Your job is to take care of YOU...so you can serve the people in your life you want to serve.

Here are a few ways to take better care of yourself:

• Take at least one full day off each week
• Schedule the time for vacations whether it's a staycation or a trip around the world!
• Put regular appointments on your calendar for the things that nourish you: watching the sunset, reading, massages, getting together with people you love, playing tennis, golf....OK, hopefully you get the idea.
• Ask others to help you!
• Give up things that don't give you joy anymore
• Take up a centering practice: mediatation, yoga, exercise
• Eat well
• Stop habits that numb you or injure you
• Start and end each day with an awareness of what you DO have and what you are grateful for

You are the most valuable asset to your business (and your life!). If your life is not calm and happy most of the time, stop and see what you can do. IT IS UP TO YOU!!!!!!

As promised, Justin Zimmerman recorded and is sharing the 11 sessions that were part of the fundraiser for Haiti.

Over $2K was raised last week during the 6 hour marathon of real estate speakers. (and probably more since the only way we could tell was when someone registered that they had donated on Justin's page- I am sure there were many that just did the text to the Red Cross and didn't let us know!)

These are available to you at no cost with the hopes that you will donate to Haiti.

http://www.goodmorningrealestate.com/blog/agent-helping-haiti-free-downloads

Do yourself a favor and listen to training that could skyrocket your career this year and then pay it forward with a donation!  Thanks Justin!!!!

It DOES Make a difference who you spend time with! You've heard me (and many others!) say "what you focus on expands". If you surround yourself news and people who give you more evidence of how tough it is...it's easy to buy into excuses for your own results. If you want to attract and create more to be positive, happy and grateful about ... your thinking and positive emotional state are the best tools you have to start with. Is it time to upgrade your Rolodex and your experiences? Have you outgrown some of the people you hang out with? Or are the folks to spend time with each day inspiring and encouraging?

In 2010, I am personally passionate about what I am calling Social Partnering^TM. I'll be writing a series of articles over the next few months about how to use Social Partnering^TM and offering ways for you to use the concept to be more successful this year! I am kicking this off here and there will be more on this month's free Fossland's Forum on building more referrals by building your social partner team.

From expansion of your strategic partners to participation with positive people or mastermind groups, I see the opportunity to the average agent to excel and the extraordinary agent to soar this year. With social media tools and Web 2.0, our ability to reach out and use our good relationship social capital to enhance the value we bring clients and customers is expanded in miraculous ways. That doesn't mean we won't bring the online offline-in fact, that's the point! A powerful combination of expanding your previous reach and adding the new is going to bring happiness to those who master the skill. Our relationships then bring value to us! And, I know many of you are very, very good at relationships...so you already are a leg up here!

And, this is really where it all starts. You know that your attitude is so important to your success and who you surround yourself with can make it easier or harder, right. Which do you want this year: easy or hard?

Jack Canfield, the author and motivational speaker, has shared a personal story. He had become very successful, using the principles he learned from Clement Stone and the teachings of Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, (this book is still available free here). He says he had grown his yearly income to $1,000,000 and it was stable and steady there. He set, however, a goal of $10,000,000 but his income stayed stuck at $1M. As he ruminated about why he was stuck, someone asked him what the average income was of those in his mastermind group. This was his "ah ha" moment as he realized they were all making $1M too! Now, not a bad a group that most of us could benefit from hanging out with, but not a fit for his expanded dreams.

Have you expanded your dreams and not matched new partners, friends and supporters to those NEW visions? Or have you given up and become resigned that you can have what you really want because of some outside influences, like the economy or some other personal excuse? There WERE people having their very best year ever last year! Were you in that group? If you were, hooray for you! If not, now is the time to decide what you really want in 2010. Old strategies will not get you there. It's a brave, new world. And one filled with opportunity! How amazingly fortunate we are to be living here in the United States with so many freedoms to create our lives.

Here are some other actions that will help:

• Limit your exposure to the media and the "bad" news
• Add some daily inspiring messages to your life.
• Make a list of your 5 closest friends-do they reflect and support your dreams?
• Find one or two new friends to hang out with some more that are inspiring
• Buddy with someone who is as inspiring and committed as you want to be and become accountability partners
• Form or join a mastermind group and meet regularly to support each other
• Begin and end each day counting your blessings!

Put yourself in a place this year where you get the support and encouragement you need to stay focused, aligned and productive.

For 2010, take in less negative input and find the good every day and I promise you it would feel better. It may sound simple, but the best actions usually are. And, it is much easier if the people around you are aligned with the same thinking!

My birthday is in March! I really wanted a Kindle, but I think this will do :>)

I love it when I find a new book that is inspiring, fun and a quick read! Anna Bannana gave it such a good review, reblogging seemed a smart thing!

I love Terri's post because I have seen people be VERY successful by just having a very clear vision. Don't make it complicated..just know what you want and the focus on it. What you focus on EXPANDS!!!

I've said it before: I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!! I love the whimsy. I love the joy. The carols. The thoughtfulness of others. And, I do love presents....But let's STOP buying and giving STUFF!

This week, I listened in on an interview my wonderful step-daughter, Coco Fossland conducted with Sue Rasmussen on Clearing the Clutter. This just seemed such relevant timing. Letting go of stuff... of physical stuff.... of old stuff that no longer "fits" figuratively -- and literally -- of relationships, of beliefs.

Wow! During the call, I expanded my notion of what clutter was and realized how very much of it I have. I've often told my real estate coaching clients that cleaning out their overfilled filing cabinets makes room for new clients to show up (and have seen the results of that act happen!). I know balancing the checkbook and taking incredibly good care of other integrity issues, cleans up issues that suck energy and keep us stuck. The call inspired me to go into 2010 with much of that clutter cleared -- I'll be giving stuff away, completing relationships, choosing to let go of those responsibilities that no longer make my heart sing... really questioning before I say yes to something if it fits with who I want to become. I plan to quit doing things just because I am good at them if they aren't a fun and growing place to be. I'm excited about the lightness I already feel. I will not live in the fear of what will happen when I say no to the things that I am just doing from the old me. I will trust myself and the universe.

And this all fits in with my yearly rant: most of us don't need more stuff. My mantra for this time of the year... for my present giving is to create memories instead of clutter. Don't get me wrong - I am not saying I won't gratefully accept and joyfully give presents but I want those gifts to be relevant. I am making my lists.... creating some fun! Last year I took the kids and grandkids to Los Cabos for a week. It was granddaughter, Julia's first trip to the ocean. She had never seen the beach and was a bit reluctant to walk in the sand in her bare feet! She did get over it before the week was done and was running gleefully. What a joy to be part of that!

Here are some ideas:

1. Make something! I do family calendars personalized with dates and photos. And, my prickly pear jelly!
2. Give a certificate for a shared experience. Maybe a concert or day at the zoo. Or a limo for viewing the holiday lights and a dinner or picnic after!
3. Give a certificate for your time. A day of babysitting or cooking a gourmet dinner or a handyman day. I gave a monthly lunch delivered to my elderly uncle a few years ago
4. Re-gift. Someone else may love a gift that wasn't right for you.

What have you done or what ideas do have? The best thing you can do this time of the year is to take care of yourself and have fun with others. Saying NO when you don't really want to do something is also a strategy to free you up to really enjoy the things you DO want to do!!!

I hope the month will be an amazing one! It is up to YOU!!!

Well, it's here, isn't it? Another December! The great news is that each of us still here too. We haven't starved. We have food. We have an unlimited range of possibility. AND, it ain't like it used to be, is it? Since we just celebrated all the things we have to be thankful for...that's a great energy to take into December. But...having an amazing December could be enhanced by some good design, or you may find it chaotic and unproductive.

Five Tips To Design An Amazing December:

1. Schedule The Time OFF - You know there are going to be lots of distractions this month, so take out the calendar for the month and put in all the days OFF you are going to take. And don't feel compelled to fill it all up. Just Say "NO" to those parties or activities you REALLY don't want to do.

2. Leave about 20% whitespace - Surprises will show up, both personal and business, so leave some room to fit more in without scrunching it into a completely full calendar.

3. Plan your client contacts - Will you be making personal visits to take by poinsettias, cookies or calendars? Will you be calling to wish people Happy Holidays? Since you have your time off scheduled, you can look at when you ARE going to work and make it super-productive!

4. Complete Your Business Plan for 2010 - You will be happy in January to hit the ground running, knowing what you want and the strategies to get there. (My Awesome Year Plan and Really Simple Business Planning TeleConference could help!)

5. Use Joeann's Rule of 3 - Each day, ask yourself, "What are the 3 most important items I could do?" This reprioritizes and recalibrates as you go along so each day you can look at what you need to do to be productive instead of just busy!

One of the most important ways you can make December, as well as every day, enjoyable is to heighten your awareness of what you say. As my friend, Mike Dooley says, "Thoughts become things." Are you projecting the outcome you want when you speak? Or are you focusing on negative outcomes you don't want? One of the most powerful tools to success is the intention and focus on what you do want!

Picture the best December you've ever had getting ready to unfold:

• There will be parking spaces everywhere you go!
• Everything you need to buy will be on Sale!
• You'll find or think of the exact right gifts to buy or make (we are MAKING a lot this year!)
• You'll have unexpected clients show up (and we all know the ones out looking in December are GOOD ones!)
• You'll be relaxed, not stressed...striving for joy rather than perfection!
• What else would make it wonderful for you? (Design it in!)