I have been gleefully gushing how happy I am with my new house to my husband, Bub. He replied the other day when I said, "I am Soooo Happy." .."How do you know?" That got me thinking.
- Is happiness about the external?
- About the right circumstances?
- About wanting, getting & having things?
All of these are nice, but what happens when things don't quite line up?
Can you still be happy?
My granddaughter, Lily, and I talk about this fairly frequently when she just has to have something. Through the eyes of a 9 year old, having the right things and having them right now is often quite important. This kind of happiness is usually fleeting, though. It doesn't last much past the acquisition and then there is the NEXT thing that is needed to maintain the joy. And, of course, I have found through experience with the clients in my coaching practice that this isn't just a being 9 years old phenomenon. The danger, of course, is about allowing your joy be stolen if the circumstances don't quite line up.
So, what makes you happy and how do you know?
Here's what I am thinking:
- Being happy is a choice at any time-I will choose to see the things in my life that are good and appreciate them and sometimes choose to be happy for no reason whatsoever!
- It feels better to have joy than unhappiness- I will not get sucked into drama that results in unhappy feelings.
- It is internal rather than external-while I choose to have goals and dreams that, when fulfilled, feel good, I will also appreciate the benefit of the getting there in growth and the rewards. My own measure of success is more important than an external acknowledgment.
- Sometimes greater happiness comes from NOT getting what I want. Ah, that wiley universe has it's own plans for the timing and fruition of my dreams, it seems. Often by not getting it when and how I think I want it, better outcomes can unfold. This is probably the hardest for this impatient, recovering tpe "A"!
- I get more in touch with good feelings the more I share them-I will allow myself to be the Pollyana, even if it annoys some!