I've said it before: I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!! I love the whimsy. I love the joy. The carols. The thoughtfulness of others. And, I do love presents....But let's STOP buying and giving STUFF!
This week, I listened in on an interview my wonderful step-daughter, Coco Fossland conducted with Sue Rasmussen on Clearing the Clutter. This just seemed such relevant timing. Letting go of stuff... of physical stuff.... of old stuff that no longer "fits" figuratively -- and literally -- of relationships, of beliefs.
Wow! During the call, I expanded my notion of what clutter was and realized how very much of it I have. I've often told my real estate coaching clients that cleaning out their overfilled filing cabinets makes room for new clients to show up (and have seen the results of that act happen!). I know balancing the checkbook and taking incredibly good care of other integrity issues, cleans up issues that suck energy and keep us stuck. The call inspired me to go into 2010 with much of that clutter cleared -- I'll be giving stuff away, completing relationships, choosing to let go of those responsibilities that no longer make my heart sing... really questioning before I say yes to something if it fits with who I want to become. I plan to quit doing things just because I am good at them if they aren't a fun and growing place to be. I'm excited about the lightness I already feel. I will not live in the fear of what will happen when I say no to the things that I am just doing from the old me. I will trust myself and the universe.
And this all fits in with my yearly rant: most of us don't need more stuff. My mantra for this time of the year... for my present giving is to create memories instead of clutter. Don't get me wrong - I am not saying I won't gratefully accept and joyfully give presents but I want those gifts to be relevant. I am making my lists.... creating some fun! Last year I took the kids and grandkids to Los Cabos for a week. It was granddaughter, Julia's first trip to the ocean. She had never seen the beach and was a bit reluctant to walk in the sand in her bare feet! She did get over it before the week was done and was running gleefully. What a joy to be part of that!
Here are some ideas:
- Make something! I do family calendars personalized with dates and photos. And, my prickly pear jelly!
- Give a certificate for a shared experience. Maybe a concert or day at the zoo. Or a limo for viewing the holiday lights and a dinner or picnic after!
- Give a certificate for your time. A day of babysitting or cooking a gourmet dinner or a handyman day. I gave a monthly lunch delivered to my elderly uncle a few years ago
- Re-gift. Someone else may love a gift that wasn't right for you.
What have you done or what ideas do have? The best thing you can do this time of the year is to take care of yourself and have fun with others. Saying NO when you don't really want to do something is also a strategy to free you up to really enjoy the things you DO want to do!!!
I hope the month will be an amazing one! It is up to YOU!!!
We have stopped a lot of the general gift giving in our family. In the last few years I've got a llama and a goat as presents. Both were charity donations to support worthy non-profit organizations and I appreciate them more than a new pair of gloves.
ABSOLUTELY! Stuff is weighty and limiting.
I am big time into space clearing and initiated 'Operation Feng Shui for the Holiday' this month in my house. Donating, flea market selling (it was awesome to see a young dad with a little baby smile when I told him he could have Luna's baby gate for 3 bucks) and giving books to friends who can use the message in them or the entertainment.
Sure am glad I saw this post this AM! Thx Joeann... :)
PS. Don't forget to FS the Inbox...clearing old junk mail and nonessential notes and outdated blogs will clear a space in the Universe for more profitable missives...
Thanks. I am going to drop off a big load of stuff at Good will today. Not crummy stuff, just stuff that I don't need, want or use. We get so emotionally attached to stuff and all it does is clutter up our lives. Thanks for the reminder!
The focus on gifts during the holiday season does not work for us. Enjoying the beauty and opportunities to share time with others is what is important and precious. Many blessings to you.
I've reached that stage of my life where I really don't "need" anything. For several years now, I've tried to relay that message to my kids and other family members who have given me gifts in the past. I think the focus of the Season should be to try to help those "less-fortunate" who are truly in need. And so, this year, I've asked my family to make cash or clothing contributions, in my name, to any of the worthy charities in our area who attempt to assist people in the community who could use a hand.
Well Joanne, that is a very nice rant. LOL
I made our ornaments for the first few years of our married life, I also made many of the gifts for family.
Then I went to work outside the home when my youngest went to kindergarten. That ended my days of doing crafts.
However, we still have the ornaments and they go on our tree each year,and the kids know the stories. It is hard to believe but those handmade ornaments are 30 years old.
This year I am doing a few cheap fun things for the kids.
Rant on my friend.
Thanks for the nice post and reminder. It is the time of year to give, but then it's nice to give all year long.
Patricia/Seacoast NH
I love this rant! And I totally agree. My kids may not but that's ok. I am looking for gifts this year that will let us spend time together rather than more large, brightly colored, plastic items that I will be forced to put up again and again.
Joeann: I love the way you think. I like to give baked goods to friends. And to my friends with small children, I like to give hand painted Christmas ornaments that they can enjoy year after year.
Joanne- The best gift we can ever give is our talents and our time. Time because it is so precious and the most valuable of all we have. It is truly a gift when you give of your time. We can alway buy stuff, we can always make more money but we can not make more time and once it is spent it is gone forever.
I love your post, so much along what I believe. I love Christmas - it is the time for me to sing songs of the birth of Christ and reflect of all the good he did by being born into this world. I love to do the angel tree at church and this year Nestor said we were going to get gifts for everyone on the tree. We have 8 families in our ward that will have no gifts and we would rather know that their children received a toy and bring a smile to their face.
I so know about clearings! I love the de clutter tasks! I look at anything that I may ever want to buy- I don't like shopping- and ask, how is this going to serve me? Is this going to make my life easier, more efficient or just become a dust collector. I love the feeling of a cleared out and cleaned out room, to the point where you can hear an echo. It is so refreshing.
It seems that the more I give away, the more there is to give away. We have a lady in our church who has all her extended family in Venezuela. Her little nephew has spinal bifeda ( spelling) and can not walk. He has no toys, they are in desperate need of clothes, shoes, anything. THe people there are SOOO poor ( great job Chavez!) and there is no health insurance there so we are raising money for his surgery. But I told her to come over and I cleaned out our son's toys and then I went to my clothes closet and if i did not wear something in over a year, I gave it to her. IT is serving her family while it was only creating clutter for ours. Katerina
Joeann, I agree with all the stuff! The heartfelt handmade items have so much more meaning.
I agree with clearing out the clutter. However, I find one gift that always keeps on giving is music. I love giving someone music that they really like. It's something that last forever and doesn't take up too much space. Plus I don't think anyone would ever consider music wasteful or unnecessary. Great post and best of luck to you.
Thanks for the great post! I really enjoy the holiday season and the slow of the market allows me to get my marketing materials organized for next year!
I am so on your side. Having spent the last 3 days solid looking at homes with a relo client, and admiring all the decorations, I said to my husband, the thing I like best is the celebrating of the season and the meaning of the holiday. Small personal gifts mean so much more because they come from the heart not the chek book. All I want is snow - a tree with lights - candles and some hot chocolate and I am set!
Great post on getting organized going into 2010. I also like Cindy's comment about the goat and llama, classic.
Great ideas Joanne. I too am a big fan of Christmas - I LOVE the Christmas Season! We too have stopped giving so many gifts as we did in years past. I focus more on collecting toys for foster kids and doing what I can do to bring joy to the kids who don't have Moms and Dads.
I absolutely love decortating around the house and outside. We create all kinds of neat little scenarios. And we generally host several big events for business groups and lots of smaller intimate dinner parties in our Christmas Wonderland Alcove (kind of looks like one is in France).
For years we had a annual Black Tie Party - very fancy! Last year we changed it around and turned it into a Black Tie with A Twist Party! Everyone wore half formal and half something crazy and wild. It was so darn fun we're going to do it again this year. Plus - nobody needs to spend a lot of money on a new outfit or tux. I'll take pictures and post them this year - it will crack everyone up!!!!!
I quit buying stuff for others a long time ago. If you need amusement, go to the mall and sit in the middle and watch the stressed out people.
Joanne, I am so totally in agreement. We are getting more and more into making gifts and that sort of thing. I vote we totally get rid of the whole gift-giving thing and enjoy time together.
I am with you! For years I have been trying to turn Christmas into Thanksgiving, which to me is the perfect holiday! It's all about spending time, food, and wine with family and friends--what more does one need? Of course, it is easy for me to say now that my kids are grown and not looking for what Santa brought.
My 3 daughters are all adults now and my favorite gift that I have received from them is that THEIR favorite gift is the family ritual that we share every Christmas. Each Christmas morning before gifts, we start with coffee, Christmas country breakfast pies (quiche) and mimosas (when they were young cocoa and sparkling grape juice. They called it "kids champagne"). Each year I have to make 3 different pies - one daughter likes bacon, one no meat and the rest of us like sausage in ours. As they now have husbands, boyfriends and in-laws, they have many places to go in one day. Sometimes, breakfast is often not more than a few minutes before dinner, but the ritual of the day is something they are not willing to do without. Every year I ask them for a "list" so I can choose something from it, but they always preface the list with, "you don't have to buy me anything, just don't forget to make the pies! I am preparing for the day when they will have to forgo this wonderful tradition when they start having children of their own. I just hope that they continue this tradition with their own children. That will be yet another "best gift ever" for me.
Joanne:
I really appreciate this sentiment very much. It's particularly difficult to keep giving to someone who refuses to get rid of anything old. My husband has socks and t-shirts from when we first met (and that was 20 years ago.) Yet, I keep putting new ones under the tree each year.
At Christmas, children may need the latest and greatest toy or electronic device but I think as adults, we really just need each other, and I am grateful to have that...
You're absolutely right, who needs more stuff, LOL. Great post.
This works since there are no small children waiting for Santa. We will do our traditional Christmas Brunch and enjoy all the decorations.
Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas.
Although I agree whole heatedly on not giving so much "stuff"...I am not so sure about regifting! :-)
I love Christmas and creating traditions with my kids. We always make Christmas Candy together and give it away as gifts. We also use to eat homemade cinnamon rolls Christmas morning in my house before gifts. I am working on that one!
Joeann, you are right. Stuff has a way of sucking the energy out of us. Several years ago, my husband and I sold out house, furniture and most of our worldly belongings. What we didn't sell we gave away. We bought an RV and hit the road. Talk about freeing. No mortgage, no bills, no responsibilities...it was totally freeing. Now that we are back in a home, we are cautious about what we buy. If we don't really need it, we don't buy it. The line between needs and wants sometimes gets confusing. Time with family is more important than gifts. That's why I love your ideas of giving time to family and friends rather than gifts. Those really are the best gifts anyway.
The giving of ones time is worth more than anything that money could buy. Isn't funny how you reach that point in life when that stuff really has no value.
Hi Joeann~ Gosh that disease called stuffitis is a tough one to get rid of. Once you make up your mind though, it feels great to get rid of stuff and to not have to shop for Christmas. Christmas is just too commercialized and the real meaning is lost! With the economy the way it is, I think more people will get back to the basics.
Great ideas. I dont like buying gifts for other adults. To me it should be about the children. But I do like the limo idea!
I heard someone say today that they had friends who only wanted gifts that could be digested or used and disposed of (like theater tickets). Personally, we like the gift of time with our adult friends - a good meal and a bottle of wime. What could be better?
Michael in Alexandria - Norhtern Virginia's Best Small City
It is crazy, isn't it? I recently quit getting together to play Bunco with a group of women I really like, just because I couldn't stand the rule of buying 'prizes' each time. More junk to buy, more junk to bring home. I'd so prefer to take up a collection, and pay someone's power bill. But they looooove the prizes and wouldn't give them up.
I do dirty Santa with my family and we limited the price to $30. The only exceptions were our mother and babies. In lieu of birthday gifts and Christmas gifts I ask for people to give to cancer groups. I now am giving annually to MD Anderson where incredible care kept me alive. So no I don't need more stuff, I need care, kisses, hugs, and love. I also need to give at least that much in return if not more. Happy holidays everyone.
These are some great ideas. And so simple to implement. Thanks for sharing.
I like the idea about decluttering before the new year
Thnaks
Neil
Joeann, saying no to more materialism besides giving in other ways really simplifies life too.
That's exactly how I buy stuff now . . .where will it go? It might be nice, but if it won't go anywhere, it's not going anywhere. Thanks for helping me get in the spirit -- it's taking me awhile this year!
I like the idea of regifting - maybe this time the gift will find a home that it actually belongs in! We all have so much stuff - even the stupid inexpensive stuff - If we just stopped buying the "stuff" China might actually have to give back some of our dollars too!
I go to a lot of garage sales with my 80 year old parents who just LOVE to do this on Saturday mornings.
It really gives you a good look at all the useless stuff that we gift to each other because the retailers guilt us into it.
I haven't done any shopping this year. It feels a little weird, but I have ruined Christmas for myself in years gone by. While everyone else was sitting by the fire, I felt I needed to be in the mall.
PS I think re-gifting is a great idea.
God Bless and Merry Christmas to all
Great rant for the season!
At one point I had most of my possessions in a storage space while I was between houses. It was a revelation to realize how little of it I really needed on a day to day basis.
We don't need more stuff - the delight in a gift is always short lived, but the glow from spending time with friends and loved ones stays with us forever.
Joann, wonderful ranting post! I like to give (and get) consumables: coffee, wine, cognac, cookies, chocolate. Really, what more does any one need?
One of the items on my son's Christmas gift this year is "3 large cardboard boxes." He wants to build a fort out of them. Am I proud to see that on the list!
Our office is having a Yankee swap party, where each attendee brings something from home that they no longer want. It can be new or used, a regift or just something that does not fit that person's style. Should be a fun exchange. I agree with you - no new stuff.
Hi Joeann -- Giving of oneself at the holidays, whether it's making food, desserts, or one's time, is what makes things special.
Joeann,
Behind you all the way! Amen and Amen!
kp
I was just talking with my extended family about the gift exchanging and all the 'stuff' we collect year after year. It just causes clutter and / or guilt (if you need to donate or re-gift). I love that idea of giving gift cards for a shared experience. Last year I made photo books and it was a big hit, especially with my neices.
Yes in this economy we realize our STUFF is just sitting in corners and places being unused and we are gathering up a carload to donate. It's a good reminder to be grateful for what we have but that what we have is not what makes our lives, it's the people in them that we spend time with that makes life rich. I am ever so grateful and have way too much STUFF, does it come with age that we get wiser or what? I have always loved my stuff but seem to be outgrowing it as you said. Hummmm.
Great post! I enjoy giving and receiving gifts as much as anyone, however, when I step back and look at what is going on, I get so turned off by all the commercialism, and "gotta have the latest greatest gadget" mentality that seems to overtake so many people this time of year. The last couple Christmases I have tried scaling back a little on the gifts and tried sharing more about what the season really means to me and trying to give it a more personal touch.
I agree with you! For me the winter holiday season is not something to "buy a gift and get it over with." But rather memory building that makes it all worth it. Something to share and make the moment meaningful with your loved ones. Thank you for sharing! Great post!
I agree Christmas has lost some of it's meaning with the stress of what to give someone. I like your ideas. My children are all grown, but I remember the day when my wife would count the presents to make sure they were close in number and the kids would tear thru them and then look around like, "thats it". Thanks for sharing
Joeann,
Thanks for showing us the way! What a wonderful feature! Your rant is really not a rant... it is about a lifestyle change and as the world evolves I think it is the perfect message to get back to balance! I am a big fan of "re gifting" I am another big fan of doing SOMETHING with the person like going to a show,movie, spa day or dinner. I have long taught my kids and grand kids to give gift certificate books which they make and include things like a back rub, helping with projects, putting away the ornaments things that they really don't want to do but will make the other person happy! So the really learn what giving is!
Have a wonderful Christmas filled with special memories!
Some of my favorite gifts to give are pictures and baked goodies. My sons love to bake with me so it just adds to how much fun it is.
I love the flavor of a rant that has not a clue of toxicity! This is an elegant rant and we can all take a lesson. Have fun, Joeann, creating your calendars and certificates ...Many of us have watched for years as you get underway with your special gift-giving celebration. I know your family and friends enjoy your calendars all year long. It is a precious tradition and a beautiful way to let people know how special they are in your life.
I'm writing poems and attaching the verse to photos I took ... I've done this on occasion but never made it part of a Christmas gift-giving project. Here is an example: A Reinvention Chorale I created in Hawaii last year.
This year I will invest time in poetry as a labor of love.
I am not a fan of re-gifting as it will undoubtedly come back to haunt you one day, but I do believe in home-made gifts. One of my favorites that I have received and still use 15 years is a fellow REALTOR gave me hand woven potholders (not the kids craft pot holders) and they are the BEST I've ever had. I have made many, many gifts - chrocheted items, (I have a great afghan that can be made in a couple of days if you keep at it and it is gorgeous, heavy and warm) cookies, candies, this year fruit cakes that are GOOD - (Alton Brown - free range fruitcake), ceramic items for years, wreaths and other decorations. I usually make one or more wreaths or afghans to raffle off. This year a wreath for my church and in past years for our scholarship fund at our local board. I donate to a worthy cause which differs each year - this year for Breast Cancer and our local REALTOR board collects toys for a child at our installation banquet in November. This year, having lost my dog on Nov 8th, I am going to donate (unused food and $$$) to our shelter in her name. One thing that I would like to do is voluneer at a homeless shelter. We don't have one in our area so I give $$$ or food to the food pantry.
No matter what you celebrate - Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza - it doesn't matter, just make memories. They are the best gifts ever!
I'm with you! I LOVE Christmas. Our favorite tradition is making candy together. Fudge, coconut bon-bon's, toffee, cookies. My son and I started this when he was little and we continue on to this day. He's in college now and I actually think he looks forward to it more than I do. The best part is the three of us sitting around the table with bowls of frosting decorating our cookies. My poor husband is just terrible at cookie decorating but somehow his cookies always taste the best!!!
For my family (I have seven brothers and two sisters) I did something a little different this year. Our mom is suffering with Alzheimer's. She still knows us all, thank God, but who knows for how much longer. The thought occurred to me that none of the kids have a recent picture of her. So, I called a photographer friend of mine. We took mom and her two dogs outside this fall and did a photo shoot. She had SO MUCH FUN. I have to admit, the smile on her face and the joy she experienced that day is greater than ANY gift that could be purchased at a store. That day in October was my Merry Christmas!
I can't wait for all the kids to receive a Christmas picture of mom and her pooches!
Merry Christmas!
What great ideas... Boris and I both try to make the gifts that we give at Christmas to family and friends.
But my question is how to get rid of the STUFF - I am ashamed to admit that when Boris and I moved two years ago,it took us almost 8 months of packing and moving. It was horrible. It was during this move that I discovered things from my childhood had found their way into my home. After 30 years of marriage and the military lifestyle - you'd think we wouldn't have much. Ha!
Maybe we need a blog on how to get rid of that stuff to be able to unclutter and breathe going into the future.
Joann, keep doing what you do! You're my hero!
I have gotten and received gifts from Heifer.com. This international aid group helps people help themselves. It is hard for any of us to understand what an animal can mean to a family in need, for themselves and for their families. The stories are inspirational and will never be forgotten. I know I remember who gave me that gift long after I will forget another gift!
Your wisdom is bountiful! And I love all that you say. I have a daughter-in-law who loves the magazine, Real Simple, and her home looks just like all the things that simplicity esplouses: neatness, clarity, and definitely organization...
I realikze I've "collected" so much during my life--things that remind me of my mom, my mother-in-law, my father, and dear grandparents, who have all passed away. Yet, those "things" can never replace the memories. Although, it's difficult, I'm giving much of it away now! And, I'm such a "paper collector, and now an email collector...My poor file cabinets, and poor "fat" computer. Hmmm, seems everything around me needs to be trimmed down. There is a theme here!
Happy Holidays, dear Joeann!