It DOES Make a difference who you spend time with! You've heard me (and many others!) say "what you focus on expands". If you surround yourself news and people who give you more evidence of how tough it is...it's easy to buy into excuses for your own results. If you want to attract and create more to be positive, happy and grateful about ... your thinking and positive emotional state are the best tools you have to start with. Is it time to upgrade your Rolodex and your experiences? Have you outgrown some of the people you hang out with? Or are the folks to spend time with each day inspiring and encouraging?
In 2010, I am personally passionate about what I am calling Social PartneringTM. I'll be writing a series of articles over the next few months about how to use Social PartneringTM and offering ways for you to use the concept to be more successful this year! I am kicking this off here and there will be more on this month's free Fossland's Forum on building more referrals by building your social partner team.
From expansion of your strategic partners to participation with positive people or mastermind groups, I see the opportunity to the average agent to excel and the extraordinary agent to soar this year. With social media tools and Web 2.0, our ability to reach out and use our good relationship social capital to enhance the value we bring clients and customers is expanded in miraculous ways. That doesn't mean we won't bring the online offline-in fact, that's the point! A powerful combination of expanding your previous reach and adding the new is going to bring happiness to those who master the skill. Our relationships then bring value to us! And, I know many of you are very, very good at relationships...so you already are a leg up here!
And, this is really where it all starts. You know that your attitude is so important to your success and who you surround yourself with can make it easier or harder, right. Which do you want this year: easy or hard?
Jack Canfield, the author and motivational speaker, has shared a personal story. He had become very successful, using the principles he learned from Clement Stone and the teachings of Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, (this book is still available free here). He says he had grown his yearly income to $1,000,000 and it was stable and steady there. He set, however, a goal of $10,000,000 but his income stayed stuck at $1M. As he ruminated about why he was stuck, someone asked him what the average income was of those in his mastermind group. This was his "ah ha" moment as he realized they were all making $1M too! Now, not a bad a group that most of us could benefit from hanging out with, but not a fit for his expanded dreams.
Have you expanded your dreams and not matched new partners, friends and supporters to those NEW visions? Or have you given up and become resigned that you can have what you really want because of some outside influences, like the economy or some other personal excuse? There WERE people having their very best year ever last year! Were you in that group? If you were, hooray for you! If not, now is the time to decide what you really want in 2010. Old strategies will not get you there. It's a brave, new world. And one filled with opportunity! How amazingly fortunate we are to be living here in the United States with so many freedoms to create our lives.
Here are some other actions that will help:
- Limit your exposure to the media and the "bad" news
- Add some daily inspiring messages to your life.
- Make a list of your 5 closest friends-do they reflect and support your dreams?
- Find one or two new friends to hang out with some more that are inspiring
- Buddy with someone who is as inspiring and committed as you want to be and become accountability partners
- Form or join a mastermind group and meet regularly to support each other
- Begin and end each day counting your blessings!
Put yourself in a place this year where you get the support and encouragement you need to stay focused, aligned and productive.
For 2010, take in less negative input and find the good every day and I promise you it would feel better. It may sound simple, but the best actions usually are. And, it is much easier if the people around you are aligned with the same thinking!
Hw true Joeann. I have changed friend groups over the years and expanded into others more aligned with who I am and where I want to be. For many reasons, these actions have moved me beyond my expectations. I know this when I return to my older groups and see that the same old, same old is still the call of the day.
Joeann,
What a great post! Everyone should be thinking about the gems you have included here.
I love the concept of Social PartneringTM .. it gives new meaning to "guilt by association!
Featured in Cosmic Cow Pie.
Great advise and love the list of actions. My pastor always says to our youth at church "Show me your friends and I will show you your future" You want positive and uplifting folks in your life especially in your business.
Great inspiring post. Positive thoughts produce positive results. I have moved in this direction a few years back. Tough to let go sometimes though.
Joeann, yes, yes, yes! Although I do believe I also have a moral obligation to be around others who could benefit from positivity and thus uplift them.
Joeann, I am a big believer that success breeds success. At any level.
Could you please proofread your posts before submitting them. Thanks!
Joeann-
Great post and you are 200% correct. I do have a slight "guilty type feeling" when I think to myself... "oh my this person is really not getting anywhere in life" and it may be a friend I have had for several years. I KNOW I do not want to be hanging with them, but then on the other hand am I just using people to "get me" somewhere better in life and business?
I have fired friends, uually after a "back-stabbing" incident, so I do believe the losers eventually show their true colors. If you are doing well... or just keep your head up and look like you are doing well.. the dead wood kind of falls by the wayside.
They relly don't want you around anymore either!
Positive is always good. Staying positive is even better. Keeping company with positive folks is key. And sharing that energy with someone who may need a boost, without getting bogged down yourself, is the real blessing! Thanks for your helpful reminders.
So true about social networking. Good insights as to the importance of who you associate with!
Joeann:
I am a firm believer in the fact that we are completely affected by those we associate ourselves with.
W. Clement Stone and Napolean Hill were great motivational speakers and writers. Everyone should have their own personal copy of "Think and Grow Rich."
Over the years I've realized how much better life is without being so negative. It just seems the more positive I stay the easier life seems to roll. It definitely makes a difference who you surround yourself with.
"The future depends on what we do in the present."
Looking back at my past, I have changed play grounds and playmates several times. All for the better I might add.
One thing about being a positive person IS we sometimes attract negative people like a magnet! LOL!! So, I love what Evelyn posted above...
Keeping company with positive folks is key. And sharing that energy with someone who may need a boost, without getting bogged down yourself, is the real blessing!
Blessed to be a blessing!!
I really NEEDED to read this today - love the concept of Social PartneringTM .. great post!
Thanks for a great post! I very much agree that the attitudes of those we spend time with can impact our own outlook & life, for better or worse. And it is not that we can't sometimes help negative people be a bit more positive - but it is really an energy drain to do that too much.
You are the people you surround yourself with. I am fortunate to be surrounded by some wonderful friends and mentors.
Great post -- You have some great comments as well!! Thats the sign of a great blog post -- Hope all is well! JE
Glad to hear you still have friends. I told all of mine that their house are worth 15% then when they bought them from me, so now I am lonely. JK. Great idea and good post.
Good insights. Maintaining the status quo is a very powerful group dynamic. It's tricky to leave friends, and even harder to leave family, unless you focus on pulling them up, then giving them the choice to follow or not...
I like your positive message, Joeann.
Now that I'm a daddy, I hang out with my baby boy the most... I find myself using baby talk more and more
Love the concept of social partnering ! That is awsesome. I often say that one's success is dependent on who they surround themselves with !
Joeann,
This is so very true! Want to know if you can rely on someone? Look at their friends.
Mike in Tucson
Joeann.. I've been a firm believer in this for years. I've taught my children this too. Saying that people will conceive what you are like by the people you hang around with. If you hang with bullies they will *JUST ASSUME* you are too. One should always be looking to improve one' self.
I agree with the association with friends but I believe this also goes beyond that to the type of real estate office or work place a person chooses. If the office you associate with is full of negativity it will also drag you down. At that point, it is time to move on!!
Find a positive and uplifting office and your whole business and business attitude witll turn around.
Very Very true! We have started group coaching and accountability groups in our office! What a huge help that has been this year! We all have similar mind sets and exciting things are happening!!! Here is to a hugely successful 2010!!!
Nice post. Back in the fall of 2008 I had to stop watching CNBC for a while because it just depressed me. I think family is family...they are yours forever.
This is a post with the power to create change for the better. I'm subscribing and looking forward to future posts.
I am subscribing to your blog because I LOVE positive energy and new ideas like social partnering. Just today another agent and I were discussing how the positive agents in our office seem to always get "ups" and the crabbypatties get nothing....hmmmm.
I refuse to listen to the naysayers and whiners about the business...such a waste of time. I thrive on good energy people and love to give that energy back.
Like the old Shakakan song said...Tell me something good!
Great message -- some people are better than others. You should be ashamed of thinking this way, and the people who agree with you are also morally bankrupt.
If you need to hang out with the "right people" in order to be successful, perhaps success ins't for you.
Very true, we are who we hang with.
I think I've tried to teach my children this as my mother taught me. So many things we learn in childhood ring true for today.
Joeann, Thanks for reminding me-I am a fan of Wallace Wattles and his book was tremendous for me--I had a great year last year but this year has been very rough and it's only February! ...I think I know what has happened and I need to bring back my useful mantra that has helped me out in the past. You also suggest the Think and Grow Rich and it sounds a lot like Wallace Wattles book
Wow! I am appreciative of all of the comments and especially like the thoughtfulness many of you have expressed about how this fits for you! Thank you for taking the time to read, reflect and add to the conversation!
Solid partnerships can be very difficult to maintain, for myriad reasons. I look forward to your articles.
Joeann,
All good points.
If you associate daily with good people who are driven and positive, you will find that rubs off.
Brian
Joeann,
I can't argue with the fact that who we hang with has a huge influence on our perspective and there are times I do have to vacate a room.
However, I believe I was created to influence others, not to get "everything" I want. That is why I serve the working poor every week. It is also why I hang out with a man that lost everything, his friends, his family, his millions.
Yes, this takes energy and keeps me from being at the "top" of the company but it brings peace to my soul which has no price.
John- It is said we are always either growing or shrinking. Sounds like you have done a good job of the former! I find there is nothing wrong with our "old" friends, but when it isn't a fit any more, it helps us grow to stretch and experience new thinking! Sounds like that what you have done!
Carra-Thank you. I love your cow! And appreciate your encouragement! A friend like you is just what this is about!
Mike Your pastor is right, in my experience! And it also takes the listener to "get" the message, so thanks for connecting!
Gary Firing may be a stronger word than I would use :>) but choosing to spend your time with those that inspire instead of drag you down is smart! I like your feistyness.
Sagy What an interesting name! And letting go is hard. But, I find usually, our inner guidance tells us someone is just not comfortable to be around anymore...
Barb I absolutely endorse supporting others, butI believe we have to be selfish enough to make sure we have the resources to help others and that often means taking care of YOUR needs first! Good point!
Hi Joeann -- When someone has your back and vice versa with similar goals, it can be much easier to stay focused. Great tips.
Ted Succintly said!
Agent Aaron See you've left me two messages...Seems my post doesn't resonate for you. The wonderful thing about this community is having many diverse points of view! You're interpretation that I indicated some people were better than others was not the intention of this message at all. Each of us is inspired or deflated by different people or mesages. I am sharing what I have found to be true and , it seems, many others have found this true as well. It isn't a matter of judging others; it's a matter of selectively choosing to put yourself in an environment that supports your dreams. And I am sorry about the proofing-thought I did, but see I left out a word...Thanks for the heads up.
Deborah I agree and I am not suggesting to cut off old friends if that doesn't seem right for you, but making sure that MOST of your interactions lift your spirits!
Evelyn Sounds like you and I are on the same page!
RJ Thanks for reading and commenting. Hope it will support what you are creating this year!
Claudette I'm with you! It's book I re-read every couple of years and it's o cool there is the free offer on it!
Joeann, I am a firm believer in positive affirmations and hanging with "like minded" individuals for sure. I always tell my agents and believe "what you focus on expands!".
Well I have been forced to change who I "hang out with" as my favorite morning coffee stop, the local small general store, is closing at the end of the week. Hopefully it will reopen under new management soon as it has been an institution in the community since 1854. Our final morning gathering is tomorrow morning. Hopefully, the store will re-open soon as it is/was a vital part of the community for so many years. Stay tuned.
It's very true my dad always told me when I was a kid to have friends that are better then myself and it's true in business have those that elevate you.
I agree we better ourselves and learn more by "upgrading". However, I do keep in touch with all my friends no matter what...I just see them less and try to avoid being pulled into their negative energy - if possible. The more people you keep in touch with the better. I don't like to burn bridges. I've had the most unexpected "upgraded" connections from the people I least expected. Also, sometimes it feels good to be the one "pulling" other people up (upgrading them). If they don't respond, I do choose to move on and keep it cordial.
But I do believe you have to stretch and "move up"; it's just good business!
You are what you eat, you reap what you sow, birds of a feather, etc etc....
Melissa And it's up to us to be that positive influence for others!
ROB Like the anaology! It is all a wonderful opportunity to play on this wonderful planet!
Sonja And one of the things I've learned is I am not a victim of who is attracted to me...I can set boundaries, or shift the direction of the conversation/input at any time!
Lori Thanks and Thanks The Social PartneringTM is something you'll be hearing more about from me! I am planning a 5 part series that starts in a couple of weeks to help people use this concept!
Nancy And it may be determined in how vested you are in the relationship. In the end...we can't control anyone else's behavior or beliefs...and shouldn't. We just make choices about what works for us!
Joeann, you're absolutely right! Like attracts like.
The general message in this post is similar to the teaching of Russ Dalbey who says, "If you think about what you want - you will get what you want. If you think about what you don't want - you get what you don't want. You get what you think about!"
To me, this means we are a product of our thoughts. And more so, we are a product of our surroundings including the people, the community, the ideas, etc. that we associate with. This is not necessarily a good or a bad thing. It all depends on what we make of it individually!
Joeann - Early lesson I learned from the guru that taught me...stick with the winners. In a nutshell this is how I received this blog post. Great stuff and congratualtions on a featured blog. How cool is that?!
Joeann, This is great! We are who we hang around with and need to reevaluate that regularly. Sometimes I can get caught up with helping someone and before I know it they are dragging me down.
I'm working on less negative input, and it seems to be helping in many areas.
Joeann - you obviously struck on a theme that rings true for so many of us. Thanks for sharing your insights, and information on Social Partnering. We just had a discussion about the importance of a positive attitude in our staff meeting yesterday and I especially love your suggestion of not paying attention to the negative stories in the media - that can be such a downer. Best wishes for a prosperous 2010.
What a great post ! We should stay away from the negative things and stay in focus with positive minded people.
Great post. I can't help but think of the Groucho Marx quote: "I would never belong to a club that would have me as a member!"
If you are struggling with your attitude then find friends who have great attitudes. It really works. surround yourself with greatness and you will be closer to becoming great.
Really! It works!
Wow, what an uplifting blog. I really like the quote "what you focus on expands." I agree with that if one focuses on all the "negatives" one would be burdened with all that is wrong. Thanks again.
Joeann
Excellent post and good reminder to all to be ProActive.
Thank you for your post.
Great post and great ideas for people to follow through on.
Joeann--This is an excellent post, and, actually, one whose ideas I have somewhat embraced, although not in the detail and "step-by-step" to which you allude. I recently wrote a post of the " TEN", those people with whom I needed to make contact at least weekly, Like everything else in ActiveRain, I though the post would engender some comment and dialopgue; no one else agreed. I guess you have to be a "coach" for anyone to take ideas in the motivation area seriously.
In any event, my sainted father, dead almost 46 years had a homily "tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are" These words are still true
Elliott Topkins
I guess upgrading is good for everything now and then.
Thanks for the good post.
Patricia/Seacoast NH
Love it...this was a great reminder on several front of how to take care of the garden called you mind. Your atttitude and actions are affected by those you spend time with. Good question to ask is "who are you spending time with and what kind of attitude do they have." thanks for the great article.
Excellent post! You become like those you associate with, good or bad. Surrounding yourself with successful people can only improve your tactics and attitude towards business. Thanks for sharing!
Xposure Real Estate Photography -- www.PropertyXposure.com
If you've never met Joeann in person, she is SUCH a lovecat--warm, genuine and a great teacher. :)
If you want to soar with eagles, gotta cut back on the turkeys. Not saying ditch entirely, but as you raise your vibration, you'll almost automatically, effortlessly become uninteresting to those who don't get it.
I had a really great conversation with C-TannStarr a bit back and she made a comment that totally worked for me: "Boring people just don't like me." Substitute 'negative' for 'boring' and it works perfectly there too.
Good post. Agent Aaron seems upset about something, but I am pretty sure it's not you, JoeAnn!
Anyway...I gave up on the 24hr news cycle. I guess I am not strong enough for the constant negativity. I have to remind myself to be positive and help others to do the same. Life isn't a merry-go-round, and things do get tough for everyone, but if you focus on being grateful for what you have and keep a helping hand out to those around you, IT'S NOT SO BAD!
Oh, another observation:
You can choose to be the cause and not the effect . . . cause others to raise their standards and lift up to your level...as long as you don't bend down (via commiserating or anger) to theirs . . .
I love news and if it gets too depressing or frustrating, it's easy to switch off. But at no time think that it's a preordained fate . . . the keys are in the ignition--fire it up, hit the gas and drive away! :)
All this is true! You tend to emulate the people surronding you, but is it really necessary to literally trade up friends when you have reached their level?
There is more to life than monetary success, and life long relationships to me are a great part of life. You should find inspiration where you can, but dont neglect the people who have been around for years.
All this is true! You tend to emulate the people surronding you, but is it really necessary to literally trade up friends when you have reached their level?
There is more to life than monetary success, and life long relationships to me are a great part of life. You should find inspiration where you can, but dont neglect the people who have been around for years.
I love your post; this reminds me of when I worked as a personal fitness trainer (and still do a little free-lance work;) People would ask me what the best method for getting in shape was and I would tell them to fire their friends and associate with those that were more health/fitness conscious. Sometimes the company you keep can drag you down or propel you upward/forward.
This is a great post and so very true. It takes a look at our own life to really see this, thanks.
I love THINK AND GROW RICH. And you're right ... look at your friends, and I'll tell you who you are. Great advice
Thanks for this post Joeann! I might add that mentoring another could be a great way to "invest" in their success and remind us to stay humble.
Thanks Joeann.
I think all of the famous "Mentors" have had the same basic message.
It's all about focus.
I'm shocked you didn't mention one of the 20th century's founding fathers in this realm of thought...
Earl Nightingale..."We Become What We Think About" A friend gave me a cassette tape of some of his recordings MANY moons ago & I played it 'till it disintegrated!
YouTube has many of his old black & white vids as well, for everyone's edification...FYI!
Hmmmm...Is this why they say you should always golf with people who are better than you?! ;)
All the best!
Brian Morgenweck, Broker/Owner
Power Realty Group, Hackensack, NJ
Cheryl Thanks for chiming in! And congrats on managing your input and attracting good sources of energy!
Jason Thanks! Life is good here! Hope it is in your world too!
Trevor! LOL You made me giggle...having in with those friends and helping them get to the otherside of it is part of what great agents do best! Bet your friends love you.
Ronald You make a good point about modeling for others and either they will follow or not. Life is evolution and sometimes we evolve in different directions, don't we?
Marci Thanks
Matt How lucky are you? My 8 year old granddaughter Lily is my favorite source of inspiration and perception!
Christopher and Stephanie! Thanks! Stay tuned! I'll be sharing more about expanding the ways you can do Social PartneringTM.....
Joeann -- Now you're talking! Your message is so important and I'm literally thrilled to see someone espousing these powerful ideas. Are you familiar with the work of Abraham-Hicks on the Law of Attraction? If not, may I suggest a quick Google search and exploration. GREAT POST!
Mike Long time no chat! Thanks for coming by. You are so right about needing to make sure that those you recommend have the same level of integrity that you do! And, unfortunately, sometimes we get disappointed when we thought we could count on someone and they aren't reliable!
Merrill I have loved the work of www.Abraham-hicks.com ! Have you read their newest book, The Vortex? Being reminded to let go where there is resistance sure makes life easier and more fun! Glad you have found them a good resource too!
Brian Earl Nightengale does have good work. Isn't it interesting how the basic tenets of success go back to some very foundational practices? And, I play tennis with my husband...he is better than me and likes to win and I like to be challenged...so it's a good fit!
Ed Good point about mentoring! Sharing positivity with others makes you feel even better, doesn't it?
Erica Thanks
James Thank you
Peter Yep! Works in every part of our lives, doesn't it. I know when I was using a fitness coach-she saw me capable of more than I saw myself and would encourage me to do more than I thought I could. I wouldn't have done it without her!
Richard I agree you don't want to neglect old friends...but you want to monitor what percentage of time you are spending with people that motivate you and what percent with people that don't!
Candice! You are so very cool! and it's a mutual admiration society! You have an attitude and energy that is delightful to experience. Just the kind of person I am talking about when I say motivating! Love the comment of just being the kind of person boring people don't gravitate to!
Jenna I am a great believer in the focusing on what we DO have and what we CAN do! Thanks for your thoughts
Frank I love the phrase "Garden of your mind" Thanks for your comments
Patricia Yep, sometimes people will upgrade their computers but not their friends!
Elliott I'm gonna go read your post and just hang in there about the comments and features...It will surprise you just when you least expect it. Are you a member of some groups too? A good way to send your message to just the right people!
Ruthmarie Thanks
Thor Thanks
Adrian The what you focus on expands is such a good place to look when things seems stuch! Thanks for coming by!
Mark Love the Groucho quote!!
Roland Thanks for coming by!
Lynn Sounds like you are positioning yourselves for a great 2010! Thanks for reading
Christine Yep, once you start to be conscious of it---you see the opportunities and the improvements! Good for you
Lisa Stafford there is nothing wrong with helping someone but don't get dragged into their drama!
Nevin Thanks and cool it is! Thanks for rubbing shoulders with me!
Paul I agree. Our thoughts become things...according to Michael Dooley---so don't put attention on what you DON'T want!
Lisa Schmidt Thanks fo reading and commenting!
Athina I don't believe inburning bridges either! Thanks for your message
Joeanne:
What a great post and I really liked when Jack got his aha moment when he he was stuck at 1 million in earnings!
Ty
Ty It's a rough life, huh?
Paul I believe in being of service too! Thans for the thoughtful comments!
Heather Smart Dad and sounds like he raised a smart gal!
Elizabeth...Guess we aren't all that different from the computer model of Garbage in>Garbage out!
Brian & Chris Thanks for you comments!
Steve You bring up a god point about the difficulty in maintaining social partnerships...it is s important to mke sure those you aign yourself with have the same ales and level of integrity that you do...or you can do yourself more harm than good!
Paula I so agree! It is easy to get pulled out of positive thinking! We just have to be aware of continually finding good resources to empower us rather than letting the things and people that disempower us affect us!
Missy You've hit the nail on the head...the basics of what works are really tried and true principles and we just need to remember and employ them!
Annie and Norma Thanks for subscribing to my blog. I'd also love it if you'd join me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/CoachJoeann
Joeann you are so very true! we choose every morning to make it a great day, nan
Nan Choosing that in the morning sure sets the tone for a great day!!! Smart ladies, I'd say
I believe we have the life and work we create with our energy, intentions, attitude and choices. Your reminders and strategies are key actions to pivot into new directions and opportunities. Real estate is challenging and adding more negative spin or energy only blocks action like a kink in the garden hose. Know you're one of my social partners!